Leh.

Warning: This is not an interesting post to read. 

Wow Tasha, what a way to start a blog post. Anyways, here I am sitting on my housemate's bed and blogging- killing time. I have a test on phonology tomorrow and I promised myself to start studying at 2. Let's see if I can keep my promise. Also, I am fasting and I have been fasting for about a week now. *pats myself on both shoulders* I have completely nothing interesting to share but I am in the mood of converting my thoughts and feelings into words. So, excuse the boring ass post. But hey, at least I've warned you.

 If I am to be completely honest, I was feeling so shitty the past couple of weeks. I have been ignoring phone calls and whatsapp messages. I'm sorry. I don't know what had gotten into me. I was not in the mood of doing anything at all. I feel homesick and I miss my family/friends. I didn't skipped classes but I feel like shit- I was there but I feel like I wasn't there. Nothing gets in my mind. I am losing my focus and nothing seems to excite me. Everything seems dull and plain and boring to me. Fortunately, I am spending my weekend in Shah Alam. Meaning, I get to see all of my favorite faces and places. My father is going to fetch me up tomorrow and I have never been more excited. 

However, I am fully aware of the fact that I need to get back on track and I will, somehow, someway. Changes are definitely crucial because let me tell you, this feels a lot like depression and it ain't fun. I am always looking forward to go back home and I don't want to feel like that. I want to enjoy every second of my life. Yes, it's normal to feel homesick, I get it. But, if the thought of how exciting it is to be at home right now stuck in your head every single day, it's not healthy and you have to do something about it. I don't know how to say this I miss the feeling I had back in my early Uni days. I was so content, happy and excited with my studies, friends and even petty things!

Damn it. I'm losing myself.